Today

By Abby Cakebread

10/07/14

Today. Today? TODAY!←This was literally my reaction this morning as I woke up. Any guesses why? No? Well today was the dreaded orthodontics appointment in Dublin. I have Irish AND American railroad tracks now. Talk about high class. 

So we woke up at 7:30 this morning and all was well with the world. It was chilly outside, but toasty in my blankets. Although...I do recall tossing and turning for like 12 million hours last night because the blankets were too hot. So, with mixed feelings towards the blankets, I stayed in my bed for a bit. Then Mom starts singing. It's like 7:45 and we still have 15 minutes under the mixed feelings blankets. And I'm wondering why Mom is singing for us to get up. There's nothing special about today for us to get up early over. Is there? 

Nah........NO THERE IS!!!!!!!!! THE ORTHODONTICS APPOINTMENT! IT'S THE DAY MY MOUTH BECOMES INFULGED WITH FLAMES. WANNA KNOW HOW I KEEP UP MY GIRLISH FIGURE? I STARVE TO DEATH EVERY TIME I GO TO THESE PLACES. IT'S THE DAY WHERE A RANDOM PERSON STICKS HIS/HER HAND DOWN MY THROAT AND FIDDLES WITH THE STUFF INSIDE THERE!!!!! Ughhhhhhhhh. 

I burrowed down into the refuge of my mixed feelings blankets. Suddenly, unsurprisingly, getting out of bed was the third-to-last thing that I wanted to have happen. 

At 8:00 Mom made french toast and I had to get out of bed. Stalling as long as possible, I dragged my feet over to the table. After eating, I dragged my feet over to my room. I now had to actually get ready. After dressing, I had to gather everything to entertain me during the 45 minute ride to Painville.

After the ride, we pulled up at.... a house? We pulled up to a street of connected houses. So we walk up to the door and I'm thinking it's going to be the most awkward conversation ever if a random citizen opens the door. Like “yeah, I'm here for the orthodontist?” and they say “um there is none here. Are you blind? It's a house, not an office.” and then we leave quietly with our tails between our legs. But no! There's a plaque outside the door reading “Torturer”. I mean, “Orthodontist”. The house was much bigger than it seemed (Time Lord science), and after a few minutes of waiting

, I was called into the “office”. After fiddling with my face (“No, no, no, lean this way... Good. No keep leaning this way), he (he is a he) reclined the chair and stuck his hand into my face. Feeling around on the brackets, he asked me a few questions on my braces, and it was cool because it sounded like he was just going to chat then send us away while he collects the necessary wires and stuff. 

FALSE HOPE. THEY GAVE ME FALSE HOPE AND IT IS ALL DAD'S FAULT. So after talking, he sounded like he was wrapping up. I was like “yissssss!” And then Dad asks if he was going to put anything in! I was like NOOOOOOO!           (ノ'*Д*)ノ <whyyyyy???         

And to make it even WORSE he says “oh yeah, I'm gonna put on some new wires on both the top and bottom teeth!” like he JUST REMEMBERED! Dad REMINDED him! I could have totally gotten out without any pain! Victory was so close!! So he throws in the wires and then, making the whole situation EVEN BETTER, he tells me he's going to put in RUBBER BANDS by New Year's!! NEW YEAR'S! I'm just thankful it wasn't CHRISTMAS. Or HALLOWEEN.

We left, and headed to lunch.  We went to a place called The Gotham in downtown Dublin. There, I decide to treat myself to pizza for celebration of surviving and a remedy for rubber band induced depression. By the way, rubber bands are rubber bands wrapped around one bracket and looped around another to correct alignment of your lower jaw. So while I'm getting pizza Colleen gets this random thing that no one can pronounce. It's like yeah, probably just some sort of chicken. OR SO I THOUGHT. She got a bacon burger. Not a burger with bacon in it, it is literally toastie bun, BACON, and toastie bun. I was more than happy, though, with my pizza. It was good pizza. It helped with the rubber band induced depression. We left Mom to get her hair cut, and went home for school.  

This is Pain-filled Cakebread, signing *ow* off.